


Her Calling

by DaWritingDragon



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Chloé Bourgeois Friendship, Chloé Bourgeois Redemption, Chloé Bourgeois has issues, Class is worried, F/F, Kwami & Miraculous Lore, Miraculous Holder Chloé Bourgeois, Multi, Or Is It!?, Other, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, POV Chloé Bourgeois, Post-Episode: s03 Miracle Queen (The Battle of the Miraculous Part 2), Protective Chloé Bourgeois, Sabrina Raincomprix is worried, Tags May Change, Unreliable Narrator, just a tad, no beta we die like Chloe's mentality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28194258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaWritingDragon/pseuds/DaWritingDragon
Summary: Chloe was fine with not being a hero. After what she'd done and gone through? She didn't deserve such a thing but even with such thoughts, she had managed to find herself with a miraculous. A cracked one, yes, but still a miraculous.So, what do you do when you have no choice but to be a 'hero?' What do you do when you know that you're so unworthy of such a thing but have no choice but to become one in the first place?Well... You change.But change is something that happens naturally. Change is growth. Forcing that change upon yourself can have certain… consequences.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Chloé Bourgeois, Chloé Bourgeois & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Chloé Bourgeois & Sabrina Raincomprix, Chloé Bourgeois/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 12
Kudos: 127





	1. Chapter 1

_“I thought you said that you didn’t want to be a hero?”_

_“…I thought so too.”_

—

**BANG!**

A shovel slammed against the criminal’s head from the back. From behind tinted glass, orange eyes watched as they fell down like a bag of bricks.

From blond hair, a pair of mink ears peaked through a hood. They twitched with every noise before finally stilling once a sound filtered in.

The eyes flickered up to meet a window and they tilted their head. They watched as the family that laid inside that building enjoyed their night. Laughing and smiling, together and full.

_(I want that night….)_

Their lips formed a scowl, not seen to anyone but them by a mask that hid the lower part of their face from the public.

A grunt of annoyance escaped them and they bent down to wrap their gloved hands around the arms of the criminal. With a quick heave, they tossed them over their shoulder and walked back to where they came from.

As if no one was there in the first place.

—

_Chloe should’ve been excited._

_She should’ve been ecstatic when she clipped on the amulet and a rather familiar ball of light came forth._

_She should’ve been pumped to have a kwami once more because that meant that she could prove so many people wrong._

_Prove that she can do so many things._

_This could’ve been a sign! A chance to right the wrong._

_Instead, she stared._

_A pair of dead blue eyes stared into orange ones. One from a human and the other, a kwami._

_“…what do you want?” It questioned, ears twitching._

_What do I want? Chloe wondered._

_I want a lot of things, she admitted to herself._

_But for now?_

_“A friend,” was her simple answer._

_She watched as relief bloomed in its eyes, watched as its once tense posture seemed to relax._

_“I can do that.”_

_Chloe gestured to the wide space next to her (empty, alone) and the kwami floated where she gestured, caution obvious in its form. Its eyes seem to shift around, observing its surroundings with a keen eye._

_It was silent, none of them speaking. That is until the kwami began to speak._

_“What’s your name, kid?” it was a simple question but a question that she wasn’t used to._

_“…Chloe.” it’s been a while since she had to introduce herself. it was odd, not having someone recognize her. “You?”_

_“Rezzo.”_

_The silence was back but it felt different this time. They weren’t speaking, that was for sure but it felt… nice. As if they had an understanding, even if they didn’t say anything._

_Chloe decided that she liked it._

—

Chloe leaned back on her seat, staring up at the cafeteria ceiling as Sabrina chatted away beside her. Not paying any mind but aware that she was talking but enjoying the company.

“Chloe?” Sabrina called out and the blond in question snapped to attention. “Are you okay? You seem…” a look crossed the redhead’s face. “Are you okay?”

Chloe just hummed, not in the mood to talk. Her answer was a simple nod as she played with her necklace, thumb running over the grooves of her amulet.

“Are you sure?” Sabrina pressed on, not catching up. At the answer, Chloe had to stop herself from visibly getting annoyed.

Her grip tightened around the chain around her neck, an urge growing.

The kind of urge that made her want to do certain things. Things that she can’t do because they’re bad; breaking things, smashing things, those are bad. She can’t do that, that was something the old her would’ve done.

She’s supposed to be better.

She couldn’t snap at her, Sabrina was simply worried, that’s all. It’d be an insult to her feelings if she were to react in such a way.

_(What do you want from me? Can’t you see that i don’t want to talk-)_

“Yes,” Chloe answered, looking away and she felt a bit of shame when a scowl formed with it. “What made you think otherwise?” She winced, noticing how harsh it sounded.

_(Old habits do die hard, huh?)_

“Nothing, Chloe!” Sabrina backtracked, finally realizing that she had poked a lot more than she should.

Good.

Chloe never liked people butting into her business.

Her lips pulled into a thin line, noticing that Sabrina wasn’t continuing her rambling. Now, the redhead was now poking at her food, a habit. Chloe’s knuckles nearly went white when she realized what she did.

Shit.

She fucked up.

Again.

—

_“What’s this for?” Chloe questioned, her fingers brushing over the old and worn leather cover. Not opened, not by her. It felt like she was unworthy to even do such a thing, so she hadn’t bothered. “It's… surprisingly well kept for something dating so long ago.”_

_“Memories,” was Rezzo’s simple answer. Her eyes flickered to the kwami, noticing that while he hadn’t visibly reacted, she could still hear the exhaustion brimming in his tone. He peeked out of his recently made nest, ears twitching as he wistfully stared at the book she held. “Reminders.”_

_Chloe didn’t push, recognizing the tone. With a nod, she opened up the box that came with the miraculous and carefully placed it back inside. She knew that it must’ve meant alot to the mink kwami if he reacted like that._

_“Do you think i’ll use it one day?” She wondered, feeling rather compelled to ask as she closed the lid._

_A beat of silence._

_“I hope you don’t.”_

_They left it at that._

—

Chloe slouched onto herself, her head tilting against her seat belt. She was falling in and out of consciousness but never yet slipping into the abyss. So tired yet so awake as the limo she was in buzzed with energy.

Her fingers twitched, the urge to hold something in a tight grip growing.

Her jaw clenched once a wave of pain shot throughout her body, the feeling searing into her muscles and bones. It hurt to even move but obligations are obligations and she has no choice but to go to school.

Chloe just sighed, realizing that the more she tried to get comfy, the more she felt the complete opposite.

She tossed and turned, hoping that it would help but no matter what, she could never vibe with the cushion.

_(It’s too soft. So easy to sink. So hard to grip, it’s so w r o n g.)_

With a click of the tongue, Chloe thumped her head onto the glass. Her brows furrowing as glared at her surroundings, an attempt to try and take her mind of what she was feeling. For some odd reason, the harsh treatment managed to calm her down. A breath of relief came forth and she finally relaxed.

As she busied herself with playing ‘I spy with my eye,’ she was unaware of the concerned glance her driver gave her.

_(I spy with my eye…_

_**R e d)** _

—

_Chloe watched from her spot in class, eyes trailing after the miraculous cure as it zoomed around._

_The school has long since evacuated, leaving her and Rezzo alone in the empty room._

_She had fifteen minutes before other students would start filtering back in. Enough time for her to have a chat with a tiny friend._

_“Hey, Rezzo,” she started, a question popping into her head as she leant on her hand. “What kwami are you?’_

_He didn’t immediately answer but with how deep he laid inside her bag, it was most likely because he couldn’t hear her._

_She was about to ask once more before she got cut off._

_"Will,” he stated, her bag unzipping from the inside as he poked his head out. “Want, desire, ambition and everything in between that spectrum.” He leant on his paw, glancing up at her. “It’s all under my jurisdiction.”_

_Chloe glanced around, nodding and filling this info in the back of her mind. “Sounds troublesome.”_

_Rezzo just shrugged, “It’s who I am.” His eyes met hers and Chloe wondered whether she was seeing things when it glowed. “How about you? Who are you?”_

_Chloe’s mouth opened, an answer just about to spill out her lips before it clicked shut the moment her mind came up blank._

_(Who… even am I?)_

_Silence rang throughout the classroom, an unanswered question left hanging in the air._

_(What was I even going to say?)_

_No one gave an answer, not even herself._


	2. Chapter 2

_“So you’re… broken?” Chloe repeated, her finger brushing over the miraculous that clipped onto her necklace._

_Rezzo nodded, eyes drifting around her. Seemingly expecting something._

_Expecting what?_

_  
_ _  
_ _“My miraculous is unstable,” he said, tail flicking in irritation. “Which means that the usual boons you’d get would range from being weakened to not appearing completely. It was why I was so relieved that you didn’t ask for the transformation phrase when we first met.” He slouched on himself, arms crossing. “But with how peaceful this time is, I know that I’m not needed.”_

_Chloe’s eyes flickered to the table where a box filled with memorabilia laid, remembering the steel that glinted inside it._

_No wonder...._

_She rubbed her finger against the miraculous once more, thinking._

_Was that a good thing? Or not? It wasn’t like she wanted to use the miraculous anyway. She ain’t about that life anymore._

_  
_ _She just wanted a friend and Rezzo already gave that._

_She should give something back then._

_A huff escaped her as she crossed her arm, her mind whirling with a goal. A goal that she didn’t know how to accomplish._

_Should she?_ _  
  
_

_Can she even do that?_

_“Alright,” She started, a feeling burning in her gut with her choice as her will steeled. “I’ll fix it then.” At the confused tilt of the head she was given, she elaborated. “Your miraculous. I’ll fix it.”_

_Rezzo blinked, the slight bristling of his fur showcasing his shock._

_“What?”_

\---

School has always been something Chloe didn’t necessarily enjoy. Especially within the most recent times. 

Because of this, it was always a relief whenever the last bell rang and she had the opportunity to escape that blasted building.

  
Chloe stood up, her hand already reaching for her bag and quickly threw it over her shoulder. She would’ve sped off like usual, tell Sabrina that she could ~~fuck off~~ leave her be for the day before flying out the doors.

  
But today didn’t seem to be that day, not when she got a rather red Sabrina blocking her way out the classroom.

A classroom filled with her classmates, classmates who also want to get out the door and are now staring at her because it's clearly her fault that it was blocked in the first place. They are also the classmates who are pointedly ignoring the extra door at the back.

“Hi- hi Chloe!” said a breathless Sabrina, looking like she ran a whole mile, much to Chloe’s confusion. They sat next to each other, just how little exercise does Sabina do to not be able to reach the door?

“What is it Sabrina?” Chloe questioned, her brows furrowing. “You’re holding up the class.”

Sabrina clearly was gonna say something before faltering, all of her old confidence seemingly dwindling away the moment Chloe had spoken. It took a while before her brain rebooted, for her mind to understand what the hell happened.

The moment it struck her, she couldn’t help the flash of shame that came forth when she noticed how what she had said could be taken.

  
Chloe was going to apologize, to say how Sabrina shouldn’t take what she said in a wrong way but she was too late and the meekness that hid behind Sabrina’s faux confidence came back.

_(...Speak.)_

“Oh uhm…” Sabrina twiddled with her sleeves before shuffling to the side. “It’s nothing Chloe. Just wanted to talk to you, especially since we haven’t talked in a while.” 

  
_Fuck- fuckity fuck. Help h e r._ A part of her growled, clearly urging her to do something, anything. _Don’t just stand there._

_She’s trying her best, look at her. She’s trying._

_Unlike_ **_you._ **

_(...Talk)_

Chloe was gonna say something but still, her mouth couldn’t do a damn thing. She just froze. Froze and couldn’t make up her mind.

Like a _coward._

**_(SPEAK UP!)_ **

Finally, when she got the strength to speak, it was too late. 

Her throat clogged up when the principal popped into class, wondering why they haven’t gotten out yet. Managing to ruin her will to walk forward and say something. Managing to snap the class out of their trance and actually begin to leave.

_You’re too late…_ a part of her whispered, watching as Sabrina meekly nodded her head before walking out the doors after a hesitant and rather small wave.

_You’ll regret not saying anything._

Chloe’s hands balled into fists, already feeling the judging stares of her class pierce onto her back as her nails dug into her palms.

_I know._

\---

_“Chloe!” A younger Chloe Bourgeois peeked from her paper, eyes wide in wonder as her teacher called for her. “Come in front and tell the class what you’ve written down.” The teacher gestured next to her, a smile on their face._

_The blond had an excited grin on her face as she confidently made her way in front, paper held in a tight grip as she showed it off._

_“Now, who do you want to be when you grow up?” was the question her teacher gave to her._

_Chloe didn’t think, blurting out the first thing that came into mind._

_  
_ _“The Chloe Bourgeois that I want to be-”_

_A beaming smile was on her face and in her words laid pure honesty along with a promise as she thrust the paper in front of her._

_  
_ _“-is a hero!”_

_\---_

“Hey, Rezzo,” Chloe called out, the miraculous rolling around her fingers as she absentmindedly stared at its engravings, occasionally tracing its dented edges with a thumb.

Her feet were kicked on top of the table, one pant leg rode up to showcase the lightly stained bandages that wrapped around it. On it laid a half-open medkit with scissors, gauze and alcohol just about to be nearly finished. Next to it was a glass of apple juice and its carton nearby.

“Hmm?” the mink kwami answered, putting down the shot glass that he was downing to turn to his holder.

“What makes a hero?” she questioned because she clearly wasn't one. Especially with her past actions.

  
It was a simple question.

A question that could be searched up.

But she didn’t want such simple answers. Didn’t want an answer from a screen. She wanted an answer from another being. Wanted answers from someone she knows. 

Rezzo happened to be that someone.

It took some time for him to answer and a beat of silence settled over the two.

Then someone opened their mouth and spoke.

  
“To win,” was Rezzo’s answer. 

?

_(Win?)_

“To win?” Chloe repeated, a brow raised.

“When you win. _You_ can save others,” he continued, ear flicking. “When you win, _you_ are strong. When you win, _you_ manage to remove the threat against you or your precious things.” His eyes met hers. “When you win, _you_ proved yourself against all odds..”

Chloe just crossed her arms as Rezzo brought his eyes back to his drink, taking a small sip.

“When you win, you show that you are _not_ weak,” he started, his words having a certain emphasis as he stared at the amber liquid. “You are _not_ broken. You are _not_ shattered. You are _not_ dead.”   
  


He laughed, shaking his head before his eyes met hers once more. 

  
“How can you be? When _you_ won?”

Chloe chewed the inside of her cheek, contemplating his words before she blinked, noticing why something felt so _off._

“You didn’t answer my question,” She pointed out.

Rezzo just snorted, his tail swishing about as he downed his drink.

“I did.”

Chloe just gave him a dead stare before sighing and sipping on her own drink, barely surprised.

What a cryptic rat.

_(What is it like... to win?)_

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my tumblr!](https://dawritingdragon.tumblr.com) It has drawings, probably some sneak peeks to future fics and you can ask me random shit.


End file.
